How not to network
I recently joined for the first time a Pint, People, Planet networking event in my town, which never happened before, it's usually London or nothing.
So I was overjoyed!
Well. let me tell you... we susty people can be very inept at networking.
I'm not judging, I was one of them only a few years ago, cuddling a glass of red while looking at the painting on the walls.
But it is possible to change.
Over the years I learned that networking, especially in sustainability, is an important, even necessary thing we have to do.
Meeting others and co-creating is the ONLY way forward to make this world a more just and liveable place...
But, boy, how awkward it can be!
So let me share with you how not to do networking:
Don't be like Sam*
Sam is friendly and shakes my hand firmly. He smiles and welcomes me.
Lovely start.
But when I ask him what is his connection to sustainability, he starts to tell me all about his great job, his industry, the book he wrote... don't get me wrong,
Sam doesn't say stupid things, he just doesn't ask any questions.
He's an accomplished professional and director, very self-assured but his networking style is more like lecturing and his conversation style is a monologue, not a dialogue.
I didn't even manage to share who I am and why this work is important to me while I was "talking" to him.
Don't be like Sally*
Sally doesn't smile, and obviously didn't want to shake my hands. When she does, it's a limp thing - imagine shaking hands with a chicken breast...
I try and start a conversation with Sally, and her body is turned away from me.
She shares that she is opening a crafty and recycled household items shop locally, and I'm genuinely interested in that, so I ask about the location and when it's going to happen.
She answers then excuses herself and walks off.
I smell my armpits... do I stink?!
Again, no questions about what I do or even why I'm there.
Don't be like Steve*
I know Steve. He's a lovely man who is 100% committed to sustainability and very active in our town in various community initiatives.
But Steve whispers.
I genuinely cannot hear him when he speaks just three feet away from me.
I'm trying to guess what he's saying amid the noise around us... but I just pretend I heard and nod.
Can you see a pattern?
None of these great people doing great things in sustainability showed an interest in their interlocutor.
None of them stepped into my shoes and wondered how I felt about their monologues, unfriendliness or way of talking.
And while I was glad to meet them, I didn't quite build the rapport I was hoping for.
Next time you join a networking event, reframe it as a business date.
You are there not to sell your services but to get to know people. Especially in sustainability, these connections can be a long shot, but they are fundamental to building community and working together towards a better future.
Smile, be friendly, but most importantly, pay attention to the person you are speaking to, be curious and encourage them to share their opinions and passions.
It's all about being human.
*Names have been changed to protect people's identities
This article was originally written for the Green Gorilla weekly newsletter. If you liked it, subscribe to receive more articles like this and learn how to communicate sustainability better, how to be more productive without selling your soul to the work devil, and how to make an impact in the world. Here is the link: https://newsletter.thegreengorilla.co.uk/