How to overcome feelings of rejection
Unless you are a hardcore salesperson, you might take criticism quite badly.
It's rare to feel completely on board when we are being criticised, even if it's constructive criticism because our self-preservation instinct kicks in.
For some of us (me included) criticism feels like your heart has been ripped open.
Neuroscientists call it Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, which can be quite a crippling condition when you have such a violently negative reaction to criticism.
I had such an experience this week.
My book draft had just come back from the editor with lots of notes, very helpful and justified criticism.
Go and tell my very sensitive self!
Although her overall comments were very positive, I just took every single piece of advice from the editor as a personal attack.
I literally couldn't work for the majority of the day.
I might be an extreme example of this, but I know for a fact that criticism is a tough pill to swallow for many people.
It can happen at work or with friends and family. Just a passing comment might make us feel discredited or undervalued.
So what can we do when these feelings emerge?
Yesterday for the first time maybe ever, I decided to honour those feelings. If they were there, there was a reason.
Hear this: I took a nap. At 11 am.
Then had lunch. Watched Netflix. Meditated.
Spoke to my own coach about it all.
And worked a bit when I rationalised the whole thing.
Felt better.
When you feel that criticism is cutting through you, take time to think. Pause and ask why you are having this reaction.
Honour it, as there is something in you trying to protect you from alleged harm - even if this is an irrational fear.
Perhaps go for a walk, or like me, take a nap.
Time off will give you perspective.
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