How to show up when you don't see a way forward
The results of the US election this past week have left millions feeling hopeless and helpless. We all know that President Trump thinks climate change is a scam and that the first thing he will do once in office will be to withdraw from the Paris Agreement. Add to this what happened in Spain last week, and it is very easy to feel the future is bleak indeed.
So, what can you do, if you also feel this way?
Before I give you my suggestions I want to point out that I have done a lot of self-improvement work in the last few years and that, through this, I have managed to control my emotions - most of the time, of course. That doesn't mean I don't feel disappointed or worried, but that these feelings don't cut me open in two like they used to, which helps me see the wood from the trees.
The following suggestions, therefore, imply that you start (if you are not doing it already) to look after your mind and body and focus on being as healthy as possible if you want to show up in the best possible way to the world and fulfil your purpose.
1. Slowing down
Slowing down in a fast-paced world is the first, fundamental step not to get gobbled up by the events around you.
Slowing down means checking the news just once a day, or less; limiting social media scrolling to a few minutes a day, as opposed to hours; embracing lo-fi activities that engage your brain as well as your body - from cooking a meal from scratch to going for a swim to grabbing a sketchbook and heading outside with paints and pencils to meditating - even though they might feel silly or indulgent at this stage. The more you are present in your body and feel the feelings, the more you'll calm down and the more aware you'll become, which takes me to point 2:
2. Cultivating awareness
Cultivating awareness of your feelings is key to avoiding burnout (believe me: been there, done that), desperation and depression. Ask yourself while you are outside taking a walk among the trees: "What do I need, right now?" and tend to that need.
Do you feel hopeless? It's OK, acknowledge that you do and breathe through it, letting the negative thinking loops lose a little more grip at every exhale until you feel better. I call this "mental diet", because every time I catch myself going down the dark path, I acknowledge it, tell myself it's OK, and breathe through it until I feel peaceful again. Suppressing your feelings is not a good idea long term, so that's why being compassionate towards yourself and your wonderful brain (which is only trying to protect you from harm), and then letting go of that negativity is a better way forward.
3. Losing the grip
The situation is what it is. You cannot, single-handedly, reverse climate change. We cling to our hopes and the outcomes we want for dear life, but when things don't go our way (and admittedly, they rarely do) we feel desperate. Even more, in the complex and overwhelming scenario of climate destruction, it's difficult not to feel hopeless.
But there is wisdom in letting go of things we cannot control directly and focusing on those we can. A beautiful, well-known prayer says:
God/Universe, give me the serenity to accept what cannot be changed,
the courage to change what can be changed,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
In the coaching world, this is expressed by a simple model, the Circle of Control, Influence and Concern - below:
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The only person you can really control and change is you, especially your thoughts, which generate your feelings and even most of your body's states of being; you can influence others but you cannot change them; you can be concerned about them and the world, but you cannot directly control them. So that's why nourishing your thoughts and mind with positive news and trying to limit toxic and negative content is a powerful way to re-establish a healthy balance. A few weeks ago I delivered a sustainability communication workshop to a group of local volunteers. One of them has been tirelessly active in the local community for years and confessed to being exhausted and frustrated. One of the reasons for it was that she desperately wanted people to change. She pushed and pushed for them to change their behaviour; without wanting it, she obtained the opposite result of alienating them, while completely depleting her own batteries, which takes me to the 4th point: 4. Connecting Making peace with your own limitations and what you can actually do to catalyse change; setting an intention to live a sustainable life to walk the talk; and losing a tight grip on a specific outcome are all necessary steps to obtaining any result. As I said several times on this platform, connecting on a human level and finding common ground is a better way of influencing others to change. Plus, the advantage is that you don't know how big the tree will grow once you plant the seed: people might surpass your expectations. But a piece of advice: let go of very stubborn people, and focus your energies on those on the fence, gently offering an alternative view and understanding what they care about: how can sustainability cater for them and their needs? 5. Finding everyday joy and stubborn optimism Finally, a life of worry and anxiety is hell on earth. If you commit to finding joy in what you have right here, right now, instead of worrying all the time about what you'll lose or what you have lost makes for a much better life. In fact, an inspiring life that will catalyse change naturally, instead of forcing it. And as much as possible, keep the door open for a possible, more sustainable future: being stubbornly optimistic is a better prospect than living in a cage of pain.
This article was originally written for the Green Gorilla weekly newsletter. If you liked it, subscribe to receive more articles like this and learn how to communicate sustainability better, how to be more productive without selling your soul to the work devil, and how to make an impact in the world. Here is the link: https://newsletter.thegreengorilla.co.uk/ |